Tuesday, March 30, 2004
wahhhh~..its been a long time since i updated...haha...
well,nuting changing in my ever so pathetic life..lol...neway,ive jus updated in my friendster.and i found so many ppl in there...so cool...haha.but ive been rather busy these days so i kant write much..now gtg 4 a class..bye~(^-^)
2:22:00 PM
Monday, March 15, 2004
gosh!!!!!didnt expect such harsh words to get out of my chest...really am sorie if i hurt anyone in the process tho....haha...im human oso right... really, i didnt expect such harshness from myself...
neway,i dun usually show meself in such temper but dat time was really critical...hahaha
i love everyone dat plays a part in my life..serious.only sometimes things cud get out of hand and you really could not help but gawk and stare and eventually feelings will overturn your mind b4 it gets seriously damaging to your personal self..
sorie..........*millions and billions times*
3:02:00 PM
Thursday, March 11, 2004
fuck life and its fucking shits!!!!!i really do not wish to believe anything anymore!!!!!
the heart had been tamed to be the tamest and what does it gets in return???? anguish, heart full of sorrow...living in this world filled shamefully of low lives....totally despised what the world had done to me...
fuck la....me and my fucking shit!!!!!
what had i ever done wrong in my fucking life????????????????????????
what have i left now???gave away my dignity, my pride and most importantly,i gave myself away....
and now im left with nothing.....nothing....
no one to turn to, a family that always think the worst of me, friends that were never true friends,
a stupid brain, being despised by all the tutors, looked down by most people and being betrayed by the only person that i trust most.
help him so much....and now???
i felt so stupid, so low, so dumb....
the world sucks.
im never fantastic.i know that but having it slapping it across my fucking face makes it totally unbearable...
the world juz sucks big-time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
y kant i juz lead a normal life????
whats wrong with me?????
3:30:00 PM
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
now in the cyber center, jus finish doing the powerpoint for*hubby..
not quite sure whether i did it sincerely.i mean,im totally sick,hungry and was waiting for him to meet me to go for lunch but that didnt happened.
my heart was wrentching so hard jus now.and NOW, im ranting it here...
didnt went for the lab just now but had ask fizah to write for me the report.. cool...she really is adorable...i mean,even tho we arent that close, i cud still see that she is sincere about everything that she does.haiz.....
im always being indebted to others..when will i ever stop???
2:18:00 PM
Monday, March 08, 2004
the anxiety of the heart is so confusingly anonymous to your own being.much less having to disclose it to someone else who might overview it as something out of an impossible novel..there are certain thoughts running around in your head in endless circle which is contrary to the feelings that you believe.
living in this solitary world with only your mind as your companion is realli hard when truth of the society crept in at the most inappropriate time....
people are generally beings with their own minds.thus its realli annoying if you were to be blamed for hurting others without realli knowing whats the cause of it it the ist place....whats the use of desire if fate arent there to help you with it? desire comes and goes but its the needs that counts.whats there to live if what you realli want is not yet achieve?
its realli hard to change something that you seems to have faith in like forever from the day you were born into this world..thru the eyes of someone else,
life may seems to be someplace where they get to enjoy the finest things in life.what my life had set me to believe is slowly changing with the course of life..the more i tried to let it go,the faster it came back,only deeper..(it being the things that i believe in life)..
(its totally impossible to ignore this nagging feeling that im realli just jealous and that im just discriminating the world..)
people are constantly trying to grab hold of the things that i realli enjoys in life....irritating naggers are telling me to quit my pathetic job when its clear to them that i want to hold on a little bit longer.total damn.
and lastly,what does it realli feels to be held back by something?
you realli want that thing but there's something huge thats realli blocking you..and if you try to break it apart to get what you wanted,will it be worth it?
the perception of mind is realli annoying as thoughts are disrupted nearly all the time..thus the solution to this is never solved...
i guess its enough of the tongue-twister for one entry...
poof*hole in the head*
3:43:00 PM
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
THURSDAY
woke up feeling very excited to meet *hubby!!!we met at tampines interchange...
then we went to bought some clothes at a sale at tm..*hubby seems abit embarrased to be caught buying sales stuff i guess coz he seems to be looking arnd like some criminal like that...haha....
then went to have breakfast cum lunch at burger king....so noisy coz the place is filled wit so many sch kids...
then took the train to dhoby ghaut...was laughing thru all the way coz theres dis guy sitting beside *hubby who looks like he havent bath for a very long time...haha...and he smell gross.......
he eventually got up after nearly suffocating us......
then we reach ps.....we strt away went up to the movie ticket booth to buy our movie ticket... guess wat we watch???
HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!(gasp gasp!!!)
we had an hour to go b4 the show so we went to the arcade....played crazy taxi and played the scateboard game like hell....our fav games pe...hehe...
then watch the show...bought salty popcorns!!!haha...but it finish even b4 the show started...sikit ar...
the show was so cool....jessica alba is so hot!!!!i reali like her....and lil' romeo is soooo cute....
and his bro in the show....keke....
aniwei,after the show ended,i sort of like got abit crappy coz i didnt reali wanna go home and i reali dunno what to do....we ended up taking a bus to town....*hubby didnt want to go there...we walked all the way..
went to borders but i reali dun have the mood to look arnd the books...it was juz not the day for books for me....
so we end up debating whether to go far east or take a bus to sumwhr else....
....we took a bus....went to causeway point...(lame to the max!!!!!)
jalan2 arnd and ate dinner at the foodcourt...(lame lagik...)
then went home....but saw ariff in the bus.not sure whether its him ar but me and *hubby were laughing so loud we realli didnt bother to notice him..
our day ends.....
FRIDAY
realli rest at home...was so tired from the day b4....rest arnd the hse....
then went to work...lame....
the rest of the week were very very lame...saturday went to help *hubby wit his hmwerk...
and sunday went to work...and get ready to go to sch....
so my holiday end just like dat........niow the horror of sch begins....
3:03:00 PM
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
sch starts and it totali suk big time...but at least i cud use the net here in sch..
aniwei,i will give u guys a review of what i did last week...
MONDAY
wake up early in the morning to go to sch to appeal for biomedical science.
reach at about 1pm.was unsuccesfull in my appeal..that miss chew was like "from your gpa,its impossible for u to get biomedical technology as most of the students with higher gpa than u are aiming for that."
so sedih right....i was totali bored and felt like slapping her face...
aniwei,met my bf after dat at his hse...played gunbound for awhile and we went out...took bus to tampines interchange and then took 969 with the intention of going home...but instead,took the bus straight to causeway point..jalan2 arnd...went to explore the supermarket..haha,,,lame rite but found some cool stuff there...after dat we went home...he sent me to my bus stop and he went home..
TUESDAY
woke up in the morning feeling crappy...tot of like cleaning up my whole room but lazyness got the better of me...i juz slag around the hse and juz play arnd with the kids that my mum is looking after...so cute....
then they slept...too tired i guess...then see this movie(vcd) called eurotrip.
very funny seh.....kekek....
then was getting ready to go work but at the last min my mum say that we are going out to buy my new specs...so terpakse la call sape2 at that time to take over...nasib baik ade audrey....told her that i will replace her the next day...
then went to sun plaza and buy my new specs..keke..and then ate at cavana...
quite nice ar...then went to pasar malam....and my bro vomit!!!!
nasib baik takde orang nampak kalau tak,paiseh sey...
then went home....
WEDNESDAY
wake up feeling crappy again....laze arnd at home..talk to *hubby....
laze arnd again and went off to work...saw ridwan after so long...keke
work wit raida and idah...was very ok at first...we close the restaurant very lincah...and we change our clothes and was sitting to ate our dinner... then suddenly idah became crappy and totaly ignored us.. i was so shock and tot that i made a mistake ke ape ke..
and she juz went off.....
haiz...then went home wit raida,ridwan and nazri...was laughing so much....
then raida went off at toa payoh,nazri at amk and ridwan at khatib..left me all alone...but had a nice conversation wit all of them...talk to *hubby and slept...
2:17:00 PM
