Monday, March 02, 2009
im dumbfound. too bad. my mind went awol. i kant seems to find anything to say. i dun wanna sae anything at all. ive been talking and talking but no one listens. no one wanna get it in their head. push me away when all i wanna do is jst be there and be called upon when they need me. tell me that u need the time to be alone and i will respect them but nw u push it away and expects things to be better by the time u wanna get things right in ur life. halo. i bring u in as a risk. n nw, u made me realize hw true the risk can be. i risk myself and ya, nw im hurt. real bad. u got me to be afraid again ryan. im scared nw. words just can't explain what i feel. tears were out of repetition. these wasnt my ist time. this is never the ist time. but tell u that this is the ist time that i risk it all just to let sum1 into my life and actually be serious abt them. nw, its really too bad. i got it bad. its scary hw y mind can just shuts down just like that. i dunno hw im gonna pick up the pieces of me again but ya. im independent remember? i will be. no! i have to be.
doll, i dunno what else to fight for after what uve said. uve said it n ya. i dunno what else to say.
i wanna say no to all these, it doesnt come out as well.
ive enuf of fighting for what i want when all that matters is all that u want.
im confused, u letting me go? am i still urs?
i dunno. im dumbfound. u wan me in a part of ur life but u wan space in ur life?
crack my head against the wall and i wun even get the answer.
cox nw, i dunno who i am. what i want. who i have. what i have. what im left with.
have ur space, as i will have mine.
i want to be alone.
i wanna go hm, sleep and wake up tmr wishing this did not happen but it did and ya.
shit happens.
maybe this is karma. i believe this is so. its all happening back again to me.
i'll live. i'll get back on my feet.
ive fallen worse than this.
u take care love.
i'll be gone by morning rise.
12:48:00 AM
