Thursday, April 30, 2009
im gg to eat ban mian nw. wahahaha. neways, i was heartbroken seyyy...
hmmm... last two nites. i cried my heart out. the fear of the falling reality of losing the only person whom i actually cud love more than duh, u know who. that bloody mf. hmph.
well, the fights over, and we move on. talked about it liaox but i still remember la... if im alone right nw, i tink this entry will but so freaking emotionally indused with jargons words, idioms and whats not. hmmm...
tdy, so call is our ist mth anni...<> i guez most of the people din expect us to last dis long kot... but well... maybe, this cud be the one? as i believe, rship that has loads of problems in the beginning usual has high hopes of lasting long than rship that has no problems at all. eg me n mr mckenzie. hmm.
well, i really hope that the courage and optimism that i carry, and have adapt to in myself cud bring the rship up. cox honestly, for the ist ever tym, i felt as if i gotta prove MYSELF smt to her, and nt the other way round as hw it always used to be. like for example, hmmm....
im just afraid that i cudnt measure up to be sum1 that she wants? sumbody that is worth it for her? u get what i mean? like i have everything but i lack alot of thing. i just dunno.
never have i wanna measure up to be someone of her worth. or anyone before that matters.
maybe its time i realize that for once, i gotta be sumone for the someone that i dun wish to let go. nt nw, or later.
neways, ytd went to st james for the dunno hw many times!!! clubber?? me?? again?? haha.
but i did had fun.. loads!! and went opening in the morning. oh!! n did i mention that i brought boo to swensons??? hee... cute la she...ist tym kay!
took pictures and she took my stoopid glutton pic eating ice cream!! sobs... gotta lose weight liao.
wait ugly then she leave me hw? DIE!!
alamak.talking about losing weight, i just said i wanna eat ban mian right? damn.
but im hungry?? last ah eat. tmr eat carrot only ah....wakakaka....
neways, on the end note, i heart her many2....wish that this feeling will last. tired of flirting, finding, searching or whatever u wanna call it ah... but, i wasnt searching when i 'found' her.
SHE FALL FOR ME 1ST!! heh. *smug* hot stuff. oh no! she fell for my oh so sweet 'i can take care of her talks'....*winks*
boo....i love u. ~~muacks!!~~
lets go eat nw!!! before i eat u up. hmmm. in the loo?
no!!!!
love,
midori-san
5:48:00 PM
Thursday, April 02, 2009
somehow or rather at this moment, i really hope that i did not make any wrong decisions. there is so much to feel, so much to think atop a sleepy head, screw loose dance banging feet.
gosh. what's with work, money, politcs, my own heart and the pure jealousy of the love one.
i just dunno what to think that suddenly, i became someone that im not. i became cruel, heartless, cranky, uncared and dun care at all. n i just push away the only person who wants to care. her. unintended. but mine. nw. uncertainties carries alot of pressure. in alot of ways. i start to dare myself to love her. i tried. n yes, i hope that i will succeed. pray hard that something good will come out of it. im tired of trying. too tired. n nw im literally tired, physically.
i miss myself. i wanna be myself. n i hope that i will be that person that i use to love first b4 i learn how to love others.
4:37:00 PM
